just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
