You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize