When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
