Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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