Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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