Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
