i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
