is your mom at the bar?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
