I must be too annoying 4 u.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
