It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm both gender and math confused
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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