I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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