..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
