Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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