if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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