Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
