i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
