sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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