You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
