come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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