yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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