if you like me you must not know who I am
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
