Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
