I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
