I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
