In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish I only lived at night.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
