Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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