The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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