the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
