i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
