I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
