with your own penis?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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