the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
