Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
