I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
