Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize