You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am naked and annoyed.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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