Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
