I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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