Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
