I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize