well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize