there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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