I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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