and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize