so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize