what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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