Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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