I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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