I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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