At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
