Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
