just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
