did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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