Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
