Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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