In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
