Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The adults are the big ones right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
