we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
