Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
